|Girls get ready to roll up your sleeves and get tough!|
|Remind yourself that this is real life! (from my "Comfort-Her". Pen and ink on material.)|
My husband is working now, at a job that permits him to recycle the trauma of working for highly conflicted employers. This is more common than most know and has been known to trigger all the old panic attacks of being potentially laid-off. It is important to remind those afflicted with such stress, that the worst has already happened and it can only get better (we hope)!
My husband has been promised the moon: a salaried position close to home and despite no benefits, it seems to be something too good to be true at his near-retirement age! The promised salary has yet to materialize, so he is clearly underpaid, overworked, and under-trained with only negative reinforcement from his boss who frequently leaves him in charge, and all for what he could be making on unemployment. These are facts that my husband needs to be reminded of, as clearly it is common to get stuck thinking the same old things: am I adequate for the job; am I making the right decisions and what if I am laid off or fired, forgetting that that the former has already happened?
|(From my Comfort-Her quilt blocks done after my first lay-off.)|
A shutdown may also be in order, before “the shut-up” takes place! "Shutting-up while putting up" may have to be the order of the day...work is after all just that! Dreams of wonderful careers may still be in order if one is young enough and brilliant, though the market is over-flooded with plenty of those sorts too. Remember when your kids were going to school and career counselors advised expensive schools to fulfill lofty career plans, education for the best positions that were already filled then and are no more?
Actually Shut-up-and-put-up have a lot in common with shut-downs. There is little real communication between the lower-downs and the higher-ups. The higher-ups seem to be in control, when they have little control and the lower-downs are left holding the debt bag, with shortages on all ends. Compromise and realistic expectations are non-negotiable. Take-it or leave-it seem to be the two choices, and choosing to “take-it” requires female support groups to be out everywhere in full force.
Keeping those laid-off upright and out there pursuing yet another job will be priority and the first fact that must be hammered into their head and heart will be, "a person’s worth doesn't equal their job status"! The value of female support groups cannot be underestimated! Repairing egos and finding real life solutions to real financial problems must be our specialty!
Remedies are plentiful if you simply keep your eyes and ears open. Brochures, normally considered junk mail might offer solutions! For Example, it is not too late to sign up for the essential skill building workshop for today's worker: "Noxious People; Living and Working with High-Conflict Individuals". I kid you not! The hard decision that follows will be who should be the first to attend. There is a discount for groups of more than three, but when funds are short, it will clearly have to be the one in most need or the one most able to return with materials in hand. With many years of experience working with such people, setting up your own school may prove to be the most viable job option of the future!
|Ladies remind yourself that this is all for your own good...and it could be worse...|
Motivation is also part of the Support Group’s function. Wanting to return to work can be a real issue, especially for those nearing retirement. Getting out the camping gear and suggesting you go for a trial run in cold weather might help sober up those that may be thinking of retiring early without sufficient funds in place. Making a honey-do list of the years of projects that have piled up can also be very effective in motivating the most unmotivated. Jobs look good next to the ones at home that offer no pay and were dreaded enough to cause a life time of procrastination. When all else fails crying sessions can be supportive too, just be sure that heavy duty paper towels are on hand to mop up the mess and don’t worry, the activity gets “old” fast and will be “self-limiting”, though may need to be repeated a time or two to fully extinguish this behavior!
Last of all, my women warriors, let me remind you of what they say about “endings”..."they are but new beginnings". Keeping the flame of hope eternally going is another function of the female support group and so continually being optimistic in the face of doom and gloom is critical. To keep your head above water, I recommend praying the never-fail Infant of Prague Novena that my priest recommended to me. I did note that with nine months of daily repetition, changes are noted in me! I am gaining faith that my God is one that is "strong in weakness, powerful in tenderness, and a fountain of love". He is "joy and light, wise and merciful" and will deliver me from "an inordinate desire of knowing what isn't mine to know"...the future. "By his poverty, pain and almighty power" He will "do with me and mine according to His holy will", and "will protect and bless me forever"....and here’s the remarkable thing....He is doing just that! We are alive, and well and still working at cleaning up and fortifying our Little House and seem to be doing OK! The females have united and we are stronger than ever and our lay-off-ee, the head of our household seems to be doing pretty well too!! Thanks be to God!!
|Prayers don't always change the situation, but they do change us!|